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  • The Beauty of Unwanted Facial Hair

    Feb 11, 2012 by Liz

    Last year for Christmas I was given a personal grooming device called an Emjoi®. It viciously and unfeelingly removes unwanted facial hair. Only sadists would use this thing. But use it I do.

    Twice a week.

    And twice a week when I use the Emjoi®, I think about my great grandmother. Everyone called her Ma and I called her Great-Ma. She was sharp as a tack until she died in a car crash at the age of 96. Great-Ma had an almost obsessive need to feed people. If you said no to the first item of food she offered you, she’d keep suggesting dishes to make until you threw up your hands and conceded, “Yes Great-Ma! I’d love a banana. No, please don’t bake a pie from scratch or put a whole turkey in the oven. What I really want is a banana. I can’t live unless you give me a banana.” Then she would smile, like she’d solved all the world’s problems and smugly hand you a banana.

    Why do I think of my great-grandmother when plucking facial hair? Because Great-Ma also had a spectacular white goatee on her chin.  You can see where this connects.

    I have very fair coloring and it’s quite probable that no one besides myself notices hair on my face. This painful hair yanking is my own ridiculous fixation. But don’t most of us women have some sort of issue like this? It’s so easy to allow one’s mind to obsess over a multitude of perceived flaws and imperfections. I often forget:

    I have a million flaws. So does everyone else.

    I have a million beautiful and unique attributes. So does everyone else.

    I recently did a product shoot with a very lovely model. As I asked her to tilt her head towards the camera for one shot, I commented on how great her nose was. “Really?!” she exclaimed. “I never liked my nose, it’s too pointy.” When I told her that her nose couldn’t be shaped more perfectly, she considered a moment and then said, “Isn’t it funny how women always seem to find something to dislike about themselves, when really there’s no need for all that criticism?”

    On good days I couldn’t agree more. What do I remember the most about Great-Ma?  It certainly wasn’t her facial hair. The true essence of her unique soul was her warm motherly heart, tight hugs, devotion to her husband, sharp eye and witty comments. These things were her. They were beautiful. So what if she needed waxing now and then?

    Will anyone ever remember that I lacked discernible facial hair after I am dead and gone? Or will they remember that I was a good listener, loyal friend, loved a joke, worked hard, and read eight books a week? I hope the latter, because those things are what make me unique and beautiful.

    This concept of comparison vs. uniqueness has been eating at me lately.  As an artist and writer I could spend a lot of time steeped in negativity while constantly comparing myself to others.

    But where is the life in that?

    God calls us, as sisters in Christ, to build one another up. Can we do this if we are insecure about ourselves? I know I can’t. A preacher I love once said that he strives to be a “peaceful non-anxious presence in the world.” That phrase struck a chord in my heart. There are women I know who are so filled with Christ’s love and so secure in themselves, that they truly have a spirit of peaceful, non-anxiousness. When these women compliment me, I know their words are meant for real edification. They do not say, “You look beautiful today,” and really mean, “You look so much more beautiful today than I do.”

    We can sense that right?  I know I can tell when someone is offering me sincere, loving praise rather than negatively comparing herself to me. There is a huge difference. We cannot build one another up if our words of encouragement and praise stem from insecurity and comparison.

    It’s not just about physical beauty either. It’s about accepting your unique job, calling, talent, personality, mind and heart.

    I imagine that’s what our loving Father desires, for all of us ladies to love what is unique about us and then to peacefully and non-anxiously pass that love onto each other.

    Flaws and all.

    __________________________________________

    Melissa is an artist, writer and creative freelancer living in Norwalk, CT.  Her visual artwork can be seen on her website www.melissakircher.com. She and her husband Jake write regularly for Relevant Magazine, Simply Youth Ministry, and www.holymessofmarriage.com. She also has had the amazing experience of consulting for Still The Sea.

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